How Many Groomsmen Should I Have At My Wedding?
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Wedding planning… it’s unquestionably essential.
They don’t call it the biggest day of your life for nothing, after all!
And there’s no denying it can be hard work at times.
From choosing the rings to creating the guest list to the age-old “vanilla vs chocolate cake” deliberation.
Understandably, these choices can start to take away from the excitement surrounding your big day.
Eloping to Vegas might seem a better option if you’re already amidst chaos in wedding planning!
Never fear; it’s not as bad as it seems.
Even though getting your dayjust right can be stressful at times. It doesn’t have to be.
Deciding which of your family members or best buds to have by your side should be a special moment and shouldn't be plagued by worry and indecision.
It should be about showing the important people in your life how much they mean to you, right?
So, let’s take a look at how to pick those all-important sidekicks for your big day and leave the stress behind… or at least for that decision about the wedding cake.
Please note: While “groomsmen” is the commonly used term, no groom should feel limited in their choice of who’s standing with them on their big day.
Here we’re talking all inclusively about grooms people.Or Avengers. Or Wolfpacks. Everyone is welcome!
What do groomsmen even do at a wedding?
Traditionally, the groomsmen's role is to support the groom both before and during the wedding.
Whether it’s holding the ring, signing the marriage license, organizing the bachelor party, or calming your post-wedding jitters, you’ll be thankful to have your supportive friends by your side.
What’s the average number of groomsmen at a wedding?
While it’s common to have between 2 - 4 groomsmen for a small wedding and up to 8 – 10 groomsmen for a large wedding, this is by no meansthe rule.
Today, it’s less about rules and more about having the right people (or your four-legged furry friends) that mean the most to you and your partner next to you on your big day.
So how does this help to make the decision easier?
Well, firstly, you can’t make a wrong decision. Phew!
If you feel like having lots of groomsmen, that’s fine.
One groomsman and your dog? That’s fine too.
If you have groomsmen that don’t even have the ‘Y’ chromosome, that’s totally ok too! It is all about why they are there and less about how many there are.
Fun History Fact About Groomsmen
Did you know that back in biblical times, the groomsmen helped kidnap the bride?
We’re not kidding either, and we’re delighted to say this is not the case anymore; please do not try it, or you’ll have a very angry bride to deal with!
The age-old tradition of asking for the bride’s father’s hand in marriage didn’t always go down too well and, therefore, didn’t always get accepted.
Many grooms, after facing the father’s rejection, thought, “So what, I’m still going to marry her!” (cute) so they enrolled their groomsmen in the slightly less favorable task of kidnapping the bride (not so cute).
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They’d get the wicked cool title of Bride-Knight, however, and in these situations, we’re assuming the bride was somewhat in agreeance to the whole ordeal at the very least.
On the flip side, the groomsmen also served as the bride’s bodyguards – after the newlyweds received a hefty dowry and gifts, they’d ensure no thief, robber, ex-lover, or bad spirits got their hands on their newlywed belongings.
These days groomsmen will likely find themselves leading organizational tasks such as bachelor party planning and cravat color coordination – a little less exciting, a little less violent, but a whole lot better for everyone involved!
How do you pick a groomsman/person?
Who do you trust? They need to be your go-to!
You’re about to make one of the most significant commitments of your life, and you want to make sure you have people around you who have your back 100% of the way.
You also want to make sure they will listen to you, help you and be there for you in your hour of need.
The wedding planning process is one that can take up to several years. Can they make that commitment?
As previously mentioned, it can be incredibly stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. The right groomsmen will be by your side and help alleviate those stresses.
They’ll go out of their way to check in with you or offer advice and ideas for how to better prepare for the big day.
They are also at the other end of the phone to chat when you need it or grab a drink and hash out the details.
Will they make it on time for the ceremony?
There are always the nerves that the bride will be late or won’t even show up, but what about the wedding party?
When you’re thinking about who to ask to be your groomsmen or people, it’s best to consider who has the better time management skills.
If your buddy Brian is notoriously late for everything or your sister Jessica can’t remember what date anything is on and therefore continually misses social events, they probably aren’t the best choices for the big day.
The groom's party is a vital part of the big day; they have duties to fulfill and are, more importantly, there to support their groom.
Sadly, they might not be the best choice if they can’t be relied on. Either that or they’ll need to invest in a good alarm clock or diary before the wedding!
Are they a people person?
Which of your friends, family or acquaintances are good with people?
Your groomsmen will need to have this particular skill because they’ll be doing a lot of guest interactions – notably, making sure the rest of the guests know where they are sitting.
Some basic organizational skills might be a good shout too!
The giver of speeches!
All of your friends might think they are funnier than Adam Sandler, but when it comes to picking your groomsmen, think about who will have the crowd howling, tearing up or feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.
Essentially, who is good at speech giving.
It is generally accepted that the best man or one of the groomsmen will offer some anecdotal insight into your life pre and post-bride – pick the ones who are guaranteed to give the guests a show (and maybe not embarrass you too much!).
Who will light up the dance floor?
In addition to team-bride, team-groom has the responsibility to get that party started and ensure everyone is having a grand old time!
If they don’t have the moves, they might not be the ones for the crew.
Whether they can bust it like Usher or they have some killer dad moves, groomsmen and people are the life of the party.
They’ll even have your Grandma up and dancing the night away if you pick them right!
Other questions racing through your mind might be:
Is it necessary to have equal numbers of attendants on both sides?
If you are a fanatic of symmetry and balance, then maybe equal numbers are for you. Otherwise, just go with what works for you and your partner.
After all, it’s about who you want to share the closest moments of your big day with and not about making up the numbers to even out a wedding photo.
It’s also important to remember that it’s your wedding.
Sharing the day with those you love is important, but it’s ultimately about the love shared between you and your partner.
Perhaps a smaller wedding with a few close friends and relatives from either side is your jam.
Besides, the whole purpose of marriage is to bring two lives together – ultimately, everyone attending is there for both of you.
Getting hung up on numbers should be the least of your worries.
What should a groomsman wear?
Once you have chosen your groomsmen, now comes the decision about what they’ll wear, and not just whether to all wear three-piece suits or brown or black shoes.
Timeless and classic wedding accessories, such as cufflinks, rings or pendants, not only set the tone for an outfit, but they can also be wonderful and thoughtful gifts for your groomsmen.
At Ben Garelick, we understand that concealed in every piece of jewelry is emotion.
While we are unfortunately unable to help with the actual choosing of your groomsmen, here at Ben Garelick, our friendly team is here to help you pick the perfect groomsman accessories or gifts to compliment your special day.
The most important thing to remember is to enjoy your special day.
It’s a celebration of the love you share with your partner, your friends, and your family. Make every moment last a lifetime.
Visit us at our Buffalo, NY store today. Not nearby? Not to worry - chat with our diamond experts online 24/7, call us on (716) 631-1584 or text (716) 574-0966.
Let’s make your wedding day shine!